With his halberd, Lü Bu blew back all the demon soldiers trying to fend him off.
Demon General: Lü Bu, you better surrender at once! You traitor!
Lü Bu: Humph! Just kill me if you can and stop babbling!
Lü Bu: Aren’t you tired standing here for so long?
Resting his halberd on his shoulder, Lü Bu stared at the demon general with disdain.
Demon General: Darn! He had slaughtered his superior and issued fake orders!
Demon General: Kill him without mercy!
Lü Bu: Humph!
Demon General: Kill him!
The general raised his two swords to slash Lü Bu, who evaded with a sidestep. Several soldiers were already encircling him from the back and attacking him with their weapons. Facing the united assault, he could only lift his halberd in defense.
At this moment, the soldiers reversed their grips on their weapons to hook Lü Bu’s halberd.. The general thrust his sword at Lü Bu from the side, who was confined and could not run away. As the sword was going to pierce through Lü Bu, a huge ink brush warded the sword off and pushed the general backwards. A man in a red robe beat away all the soldiers hindering Lü Bu simply by waving his brush. The man smiled at Lü Bu.
Celestial Master: How come you can’t even take care of a few minions, bro?
Lü Bu: Aha! They’re ganging up on me!
Celestial Master: What happened? I only heard that you killed your superior.
Lü Bu: Darn! They made that up! Let’s deal with them first!
Demon General: Charge!
The demon general fell slowly. Lü Bu heaved a sigh of relief and sat on the ground. Tongtian Jiaozhu frowned for he knew Lü Bu was a master of martial arts and there was no reason for him to be exhausted by the minions.
Celestial Master: What happened indeed?
Lü Bu: Someone framed me and accused me of murdering my foster father!
Celestial Master: Impossible. He treated you as his own son.
Celestial Master: Everybody knows you’ll succeed after him.
Lü Bu: Let’s get outta here first!
The Celestial Master helped Lü Bu up, and they left the territory of the Demons.
Celestial Master: What do you plan to do?
Lü Bu: I’ve no idea...
Celestial Master: Follow me to the Heavenly Kingdom. I’ll ask my senior to let you stay.
Lü Bu: Impossible. They’ll never let me stay!
Celestial Master: The Demons regard you as a betrayer,
Celestial Master: but to the Gods, you offered them a great help.
Lü Bu: But now they call me unjust -
Celestial Master: There’s nothing you can do with it. Let’s go.
Celestial Supremacy: I told you that rat is not trustworthy.
Celestial Master: Mind your words!
Celestial Supremacy: You too. I trust no Demons.
Celestial Master: Darn! You want to fight?
The Celestial Supremacy conjured his pneuma like the Celestial Master did. It seems that the Heavenly Kingdom would be destroyed by their duel if any of them dare to say another word.
Celestial Divinity: Silence!
Yuanshi Tianzun commanded them to stop. He stared at Tongtian Jiaozhu sternly.
Celestial Divinity: Go fetch him.
Celestial Master: Shoot!
The Celestial Master snorted in disgust and left the Celestial Palace. As Yuanshi Tianzun squinted at Tongtian Jiaozhu, he waved at Changxi, who was standing beside him.
Celestial Divinity: Shadow him, Changxi.
Changxi: Yes, master!
Soon after Tongtian Jiaozhu left the Celestial Palace, he found Lü Bu. His armor was torn and worn, and the stains on the halberd had dulled. Lü Bu put on no smile, and stared at the sky quietly. Tongtian Jiaozhu could not help sighing, seeing Lü Bu bear the brunt.
Celestial Master: Go back with me, bro.
Lü Bu: Going back? That’s not where I should stay.
Lü Bu: I told ya the Gods and Demons are oil and water.
Lü Bu: They offer me a shelter ’cause of ya recommendation.
Lü Bu: But, those stupid gods! What do they think I’m?
Lü Bu: What I want is only a chance to demonstrate my power!
Lü Bu: I’m Lü Bu, the invincible warrior who can fight tens of thousands of men!
Lü Bu: How can I only stay at the back of the battlefield as support!
As someone shouted daintily, a crescent blade flew at Lü Bu. Lü Bu fended it off with his halberd, only to find Changxi standing in a short distance away, pointing his delicate fingers at Lü Bu...
Changxi: Sinner! You’d better surrender at once!
Lü Bu: Haha! Trying to catch me, you freaking sissy?
Changxi: How dare you! Take this!
Celestial Master: Stop, bro!
Tongtian Jiaozhu sheltered Changxi at his back, repelling the halberd with his brush. However, Lü Bu’s sword already pierced through Tongtian Jiaozhu. Lü Bu kicked him away, whistled for his horse and left. Changxi helped Tongtian Jiaozhu up, looking at the thoughtful master bashfully. However, Tongtian Jiaozhu was only gazing at where Lü Bu had left, as he recalled the past -
The afterglow fell opon the two young men sitting on the side of a cliff, enjoying liquor together.
Lü Bu: Haha! Drinking with you is my only way to relax!
Celestial Master: Why are you always trying to be stronger, bro?
Lü Bu: 'Cause I want to be the strongest!
Celestial Master: That is difficult.
Lü Bu: That’s why I must do it!
Celestial Master: Hahaha! That’s why I appreciate you! Cheers!
The teenagers drank as much as they could. No amount of alcohol is ever enough when one is with a close friend...
When Tongtian Jiaozhu’s sense returned, he saw no wounds on where he was pierced through. He knew that Lü Bu tended not to make things difficult for him and therefore pretended to attack him, so Changxi would believe he was injured by Lü Bu, hence justifying himself to Yuanshi Tianzun.
Celestial Master: People say, there is no man braver than Lü Bu,
Celestial Master: but he is rebellious and unjust.
Celestial Master: But I would say, though he is a man of justice,
Celestial Master: no one could ever understand him.
Though Lü Bu managed to run away from the Heavenly Kingdom, there was nowhere for him to go in the realm. He could hardly recover from the injuries dealt by Changxi, who possessed celestial pneuma. Lü Bu hid here, there and everywhere from the Gods and Demons hunting him. Until one day when a troop of strange soldiers with a chained mad man found him...
The Pawn of Darkness: We found him, captain!
Knight of Dead Spirits: Are you sure it’s him?
The Pawn of Darkness: He has a halberd and wears a feathered crown. Yes, it’s him!
Knight of Dead Spirits: Take him! Our master will be so happy about this!
They talked as if Lü Bu was not there, and Lü Bu seethed with rage. But he could not for he was injured; therefore he only raised his halberd as a precaution. However, one of the soldiers suddenly took out a tiny bottle and opened it. As a fragrance spread, Lü Bu’s mind went blank once he smelled the sweet scent.
When Lü Bu opened his eyes, he found himself in a grand palace, and the locked mad man from before was kneeling beside him. A little girl wearing a checkered dress and a woman with two huge claws floating behind were sitting on their thrones. Laying her chin on her hand as she sat back on her throne, the little girl cast her eyes on Lü Bu...
Mad Man: My adorable master, Miss Alice...
???: Shut up! It’s not your turn to speak yet, Mad Hatter!
The Mad Hatter kept muttering to himself, and the little girl frowned. The woman yelled to make him stop once she saw that. As the Mad Hatter ceased his babbling, the girl turned to Lü Bu.
Alice: So you’re Lü Bu?
Lü Bu: Yea. So?
Alice: I’m Alice, the master and the creator of this Wonderland!
Lü Bu: Wonderland? Why did you take me here?
Alice: Haha! I just want you to play with me!
As she finished the sentence, Lü Bu found the shackles put on him and the Mad Hatter were unlocked.
Alice: Stay with me always, Mad Hatter! Don’t you ever run again!
The Lost Mad Hatter: Me? Why?
Lü Bu: Darn! They’re all mad!
Alice: Heehee! See, Queen of Hearts, they’re fun!
The Queen of Hearts: Watch out, Alice!
When Lü Bu’s halberd was about to thrust Alice, the Queen of Hearts leapt from her throne. She swung her giant claws at Lü Bu, and all he could do was to defend himself with his halberd. However, Lü Bu was yet to recover from the previous exhausting battle, and he was slammed on to the ground by the claws.
The Queen of Hearts: You’re no match for me in the Wonderland.
The Queen of Hearts looked at Lü Bu lingering on the ground, she could see his begrudging eyes. She then ordered nothing but the imprisonment of Lü Bu. A few days later, she visited the dungeon. She looked closely on Lü Bu, who was chained by shackles on his feet, while he only gave her a cold shoulder. The Queen of Hearts opened the gate of the dungeon and went inside despite his attitude.
The Queen of Hearts: Resentful, huh?
Lü Bu: Humph!
The Queen of Hearts: I understand you.
Lü Bu: Shut up. No one understands me!
Lü Bu: You mad people are all trapped in this crap!
Lü Bu: And ya tellin’ me you understand me?
The Queen of Hearts: I really do! My father abandoned me and my sister tried to kill me!
Tyrant - The Queen of Hearts: Now I’m trapped here by Alice. We share the same misfortune...
The Queen of Hearts could no longer hold her tears back. Lü Bu looked into her eyes, trying to find some signs of a lie. Seeing her honest eyes and authentic tears, he was somehow moved...
Lü Bu: Forget ‘bout that. Now I’m trapped and there’s nothing I can do!
The Queen of Hearts: You can do whatever you want!
Lü Bu gave her a glance, as if he was asking the meaning of her words.
The Queen of Hearts: Though Alice traps us here, but as long as there’s someone to play with her,
The Queen of Hearts: she doesn’t care about what we do.
Lü Bu: So she’s really mad. Do you mean we can leave?
The Queen of Hearts: Yes - as long as you can deceive her.
Lü Bu thought, Alice was only a little girl and it should not be hard to swindle her. The priority now was to recover from the injuries. He would not have to hide everywhere he went if he regained his power, and he may even control the others...
Lü Bu: ‘I’ll first seize control of the Wonderland, then the realms.’
He asked the Queen of Hearts whether there was a way to strengthen him, and the Queen took out a bottle from her pocket, as if the question was expected. She told Lü Bu to drink the liquid. Lü Bu, who was too eager to be stronger, gulped it all down without consideration. At the moment he could feel the power pouring out from within. He roared as he indulged himself in the eruption of power, yet he failed to notice the suspicious glimpse in the eye of the Queen...
As Lü Bu looked at the army of Gods down the mountain, he smiled. He turned to the samurai in the white armor encarved with gold stripes.
Lü Bu the Warlord: Kid, do you know what a fool is?
The samurai shook his head as he looked at Lü Bu confusedly. Lü Bu therefore pointed at the army of Gods down the hill, and then moved his finger along the way to the army of Demons on the other side
Lü Bu the Warlord: Look at the fools down the mountain who pitched the camp there,
Lü Bu the Warlord: and you would know the general is an imbecile.
Minamoto no Yoshitsune: This place is flat without cover, and there are several locations for ambush.
Minamoto no Yoshitsune: The general is a fool indeed!
Lü Bu the Warlord: And the other bunch of fools is giving me the chance to return.
As Lü Bu roared, he rode his horse and headed to the army of the Gods from the mountain, together with Yoshitsune riding on the other horse. The lookouts outside the camp took their last breath before they could react. The soldiers began to take action by swamping Lü Bu and Yoshitsune with their encirclement and calling for reinforcements.
Riding his horse with halberd in hand, Lü Bu chuckled as he cast his eyes on the god soldiers. Yoshitsune had already charged at the enemies. With murderous pneuma swirling around his katana, every blow he delivered resulted in blossoms of blood. Yoshitsune was performing the dance of blood and the cries of the soldiers were the song he moved to. It sounded graceful to Lü Bu, putting a smile so maniacal on his face that no soldiers dared to close in.
All of a sudden, Lü Bu rode his horse, aiming for the main camp of the army of the Gods. The horse knocked down all the soldiers standing in front of the main tent. As the halberd was swung, the camp was cut into two halves, frightening everyone inside. A brutal smile flashed on Lü Bu’s face as he swung his halberd again. Those slaughtered by him were either in two halves, or with their heads off, leaving only the general of the Gods so scared that he flopped on the ground. Lü Bu got off his horse and snatched him at his collar.
Lü Bu the Warlord: Haha! Thanks so much! I’ll put ya to my sword in return!
Lü Bu unsheathed the sword he wore on his waist and decapitated the general. Suddenly the soldiers behind gave way to a god and a goddess wearing purple armors. The god was wielding two swords and the goddess had an enormous tail on her back. Their strength could be told from their desire to kill. Lü Bu stared at them as if what happened was a joke.
Lü Bu the Warlord: Long time no see, Pollux.
Pollux: You’re not going anywhere this time, Lü Bu.
Lü Bu the Warlord: Are you tryin’ to say you’ll defeat me, loser?
Pollux: Are you kidding me? You’re the loser here.
Lü Bu the Warlord: So are ya gonna cry for your brother again?
During their conversation, Yoshitsune, who was fully covered in blood, stormed from afar. He leapt to the back of Lü Bu, gazing at the two with his insanity-filled eyes, rendering them in discomfort.
Court of Scorpio - Alma: Watcha lookin’ at? Wanna die?
Pollux: Alma, you’d better cool it down!
Lü Bu the Warlord: Wanna summon ya brother, Pollux?
Pollux: It’s such a pity you two can’t meet, Lü Bu.
Lü Bu the Warlord: Haha! No matter you’re showin’ up or not,
Lü Bu the Warlord: I’ve already figured out the movements of you and Castor!
Lü Bu the Warlord: You’re weaker than before!
The soldiers gasped in fear when the two Courts of Zodiacs slowly collapsed onto the ground with little effort from the two demons. Once again, Lü Bu’s mischievous eyes fell on them.
Lü Bu the Warlord: I won’t kill you now. We’ll play again next time!
Lü Bu snatched the head of the general and got on to the horse. All the soldiers gave way when he and Yoshitsune departed, leaving the resentful Courts of Gemini and Scorpio behind. They rode directly to the army of the Demons.
Minamoto no Yoshitsune: Why didn’t you kill them?
Lü Bu the Warlord: They have a role to play! You! Head back to the Wonderland first!
Lü Bu did not explain why he asked Yoshitsune to return first, while he came to the camp of the Demons’ army. The guardians fended him off from the camp when he was spotted, and upon someone recognizing Lü Bu cried for help at once, mobilizing the soldiers from elsewhere.
Demon Soldier: Stop right there! Everybody come! Capture Lü Bu!
Lü Bu did not struggle against his capture and was brought to the main camp. The demon marshal, who had a pair of red horns, stared at him sternly.
Demon Marshal: Why did you come back, Lü Bu?
Demon Marshal: Don’t you fear the execution for killing your father?
Lü Bu the Warlord: Fear? I’m here to make amends.
Demon General: Fix your fault? With what?
Lü Bu the Warlord: The head of the general out there!
Upon his words, his shackled hands grabbed a head out of nothing. He smiled and dedicated the head with both hands, kneeling on one knee to the marshal, who could hardly suppress his excitement on his seat. He knew the head belonged to the general of the Gods, but it was clear enough that Lü Bu was not trustworthy. The marshal then made a decision.
Demon Marshal: This in fact is the head of the general of the Gods. Lü Bu, what do you want?
Lü Bu the Warlord: I only want to fix my fault!
Demon Marshal: Fair enough. Your wish is granted!
Demon Marshal: Deliver my order, I now appoint Lü Bu as the battalion commander!
The marshal could not help regarding Lü Bu as a fool when he saw Lü Bu grinning from ear to ear. He then waved to tell his guard and Lü Bu to leave, they then followed the others to the camp.
Lü Bu the Warlord: Cunning old fox!
Lü Bu the Warlord: You pretended to send me to the battlefront for contribution,
Lü Bu the Warlord: but you just want me dead!
Lü Bu the Warlord: Let’s see who’ll be the fool then!